This will be a shorter post, because like the rest of Bryn Mawr, I’m hunkered down with my laptop working on my midterms. This week has been rough! I’m accustomed to working my life out around invisible illness- having chronic migraines means that I spend a lot of time in bed, in the dark, with ice. My temporal lobe is a little messed up, so I also have some problems with my perception of space/time/gravity. My funky brain stuff impacts everything I do, and it has for so long that I am pretty decent at dealing with it and how it impacts my interactions with others.
Fast forward to now- I’ve been in a cast since last week, and it has been rough (to say the least). I’m no stranger to fielding other people’s comments on my body and my choices, because I’m a woman (among many other things) who exists in the world, but this has been next level. I have chosen to leave my cast uncovered, because my normal body temperature is really high, but that means that my toes are exposed. I painted my toenails purple to match my cast, and figured that it wouldn’t be an issue. I was so wrong! So many people have had things to say, from expressing their concern at how cold I must be to telling me unsolicited stories about their injuries to touching my crutches. I can’t possibly know what’s best for my body- everyone else’s ideas are more valid, and my choices have to be second-guessed.
To see this power dynamic actually expressed, over and over, is enlightening. I can’t get away quickly, and people use that to their advantage. I’m focused on my body, and where I’m going and what my crutches are going to hit next, which means that I can’t really tell when people are staring, and once I notice, it’s too late to do anything about it. I’m intrigued by the way Mawrtyrs especially, who are so frequently aware of power structures and their places within them, have engaged with me around this.
If this is interesting for you, or you want to continue the discussion as it relates to Bryn Mawr specifically, I encourage you to check out EnAble Bryn Mawr. It’s a fairly recent group on campus, led by my friend Niki. I haven’t been able to make meetings because my off-campus life doesn’t usually allow me to be on campus as late as they tend to happen (this is true of most extracurricular groups, actually), but I encourage others to participate. It’s important.