I can’t believe the first month of school is over. I’m not really sure how it happened so quickly, but it did, and here we are.

It’s been rough, but I also feel endlessly grateful to be a part of a community that has (mostly) banded together to actually make change. The demonstration was amazing, and affirming, but it was only the beginning. Today at Plenary folks actually showed up and used student power to pass some really important resolutions. I got misty when the recommendation to increase faculty diversity passed. The passion and commitment shown by so many in the community is really touching, and it makes me overwhelmingly proud to be a part of it in whatever small way I am.

One of the major things I’ve learned over the past few weeks involves self-care, and the way we talk about it at Bryn Mawr. I’ve always had a little bit of trouble with the “eat! sleep! drink water!” model of self-care. There’s this idea that you should be able to make the choices to actually get enough sleep, but for so many, that isn’t really a choice that exists. If I have three papers and a midterm and 200+ pages of reading, I’m going to be up pretty late, right? And if our model of self-care is what I’ve outlined, then totally irrational guilt and shame about not making the “smart” decision to sleep more get added to my stress pile. I’m not saying that sleep isn’t important (it is!), I’m just saying that sometimes self-care needs to take other forms.

One of my main outlets is Bikram, a style of yoga that privileges strength and focus over flow and flexibility. Each class is 90 minutes, heated to around 105 degrees, and extra humid. I’ve had a pretty dedicated practice for about four years, with occasional breaks when life has gotten in the way. I used to beat myself up about missing classes, to the point where I took about six months off because I was convinced that I couldn’t go back because my teachers would judge me for disappearing.

That’s ridiculous. Of course they didn’t. Over the summer, I was going to class twice a day, and told myself that I was going to try and continue through the semester. I have, but not every day. And that’s okay. Part of having a dedicated yoga practice, for me, is understanding that every day I make choices about how I treat my body, and sometimes those choices can’t include going to what ends up being, with commute, at least a two hour class. Sometimes, I need to eat, or play with my pets, or finish reading something, or call my mom. For me, self-care is about continuing to make the choices that meet my needs at any given moment, whether it’s the “healthiest” or not. This weekend, I went to New York to see one of my favorite bands, playing one of my favorite albums, with one of my favorite people. The trip was only around twelve hours, and I didn’t sleep enough, and I had a few (terrible, expensive) beers at the Hammerstein, but every single minute was worth it. I got to spend actual, real time with my best friend. I got to see, briefly, the skyline that moves me to tears every time I see it.

All this is to say, we don’t all have to do this whole self-care thing the same way. No one should make you feel like what works for you is inherently bad- it’s not. Sure, drink more water. Or don’t, if you hate drinking water. Get some sleep, if it’s not going to stress you out to have lost that time. Maybe you are one of those people who actually only needs four hours a night. Cool. I support your choices, Mawrters.