Many of my Facebook friends have taken to posting lists of the things they’re thankful for, and it has been lovely to see a little bit of positivity in my feed. I tend to not post my lists to social media, but I do keep notes in my Slingshot about the good things that have happened every day. President Cassidy just wrote a blog post about gratitude, and how it feels to thank others and receive thanks yourself. She ended the post with a suggestion that we, the campus community, should perhaps try to bring back the lost art of the thank you note. Perhaps it was just a coincidence, but a friend that I’ve been working on getting to know better handed me a letter that same day, and I was blown away by the emotional generosity and kindness of it.

At work, a few years ago, I was brought into a meeting wherein my boss told me that I had really excellent hard skills, but that my soft skills were a little bit lacking. I wasn’t really sure what she meant, because the conversation was held almost entirely in retail managerial parlance, but when I asked for clarification, her answer surprised me. She told me that I needed to be a little less intense when I acknowledged people- that receiving validation or praise from me was like a gift from some kind of higher power, because I was so seriously focused and genuine when it happened. That this was a critique took a little while to sink in, but I eventually realized that what she meant was that saying thank you didn’t always have to be a giant event, and that I could probably loosen up a little and have the same impact.

After that, I worked on thanking at least one person every day, often for tiny things. I know how good it feels to be noticed, and I thrive on that kind of acknowledgement. Lots of folks do. So, sending that vibe out has become one of the things I most love doing- telling the people around me how excellent they are at being themselves, at doing their jobs, at being scholars and activists and friends. After reading KCass’s blog post, and receiving a note this week, I think I’m going to step up my thank you game. Get ready for some handwritten notes, friends.