To ease my transition (and yours) out of the academic year and into the summer, I’m posting a playlist here that I initially submitted to the college news. The issue didn’t come out before Commencement, but I still want to share with you a set of songs that move in all the ways I want songs to move when things around me are changing.

When everything is in flux and the world feels like it’s spinning too fast, I gravitate toward songs that are slow and kind of sad in the beginning, but build into a giant, crashing, hopeful crescendo eventually. The list is structured so that the whole thing functions in the same way- if you can get through the first few, I promise, you’ll feel a little better by the end.

I guess that’s kind of true for a lot of things, right? Take it a day at a time, and maybe it’ll be a little better at the end.

1. Soltero- Communist Love Song
2. Leonard Cohen- Famous Blue Raincoat
3. David Bowie- 5.15 The Angels Have Gone
4. Ani DiFranco- You Had Time
5. Raining Jane- Clementine
6. Sufjan Stevens- All Of Me Wants All Of You
7. Counting Crows- Anna Begins
8. Sigur Ros-Olsen Olsen
9. Little Comets- Waiting In The Shadows Of The Dead Of Night
10. Bleachers- I Wanna Get Better
11. Josh Ritter- To The Dogs Or Whoever
12. Florence + The Machine- Dog Days Are Over
13. Wiz Khalifa/Phantogram (The Hood Internet)- Move Up

https://www.sendspace.com/file/iu3mw1

Enjoy, and reach out if this has touched you, or if you think it’s terrible, or even just to say hey. This is the last post, officially, for this blog. It’s been a joy to write about my life for you this year. Good luck with everything, and I hope Bryn Mawr is as good for you as it was for me.

It seems like the beginning of this academic year wasn’t actually that long ago, but here we are at the finish line. May Day is on Sunday (fingers crossed that my dress is done at the tailor in time!), and then it’s finals and the real end of my undergraduate career. More importantly, it’s the end of my time at Bryn Mawr College. I found myself here, even though I didn’t really think I was still looking. The people I’ve met in the last two years will stay with me forever- and I know people say that all the time, and it doesn’t actually stay true, but I think this one will stick.

I handed in my thesis on Monday morning, and around 5:00 all of the English majors gathered in English House for champagne and cake. It was beautiful- Bryn made bunting with all of our names, and napkins that said “ENG399” with a checked-off box. It felt final, in the best possible way. I was glad I could celebrate with everyone in the department.

The first picture is me handing in my thesis- but not really. I’d handed it in around 9:00 AM, but no one was nearby to take pictures and celebrate with, so I grabbed the bound copy from my adviser’s mailbox and staged a re-do. It was worth it, because I got to send the picture to my parents and get lots of “whoohoo!” messages in return. The second picture is of the English seniors and faculty, yelling “yay!” and holding champagne. We all look tired and happy and a little bit delirious, but maybe that’s a good look? I’m really proud of everyone. It still doesn’t feel real.

So, this might be my final entry. I don’t think it will- I still have two more weeks on campus, and I want to post May Day pictures, but just in case that doesn’t happen, let’s revisit my resolutions.

• Continue on this trend of going to Bikram (almost) every day.
• Keep my calendars updated.
• Actually make plans with friends. And keep those plans.
• Read and respond to every e-mail.
• Bring Wilson to campus.
• Remember to drink enough water.
• THESIS.

I still haven’t brought Wilson to campus, but there’s time. Finals week is an excellent excuse to bring animals to the green. You may remember, I broke my ankle during Hell Week, so yoga was out for a while. I’m in physical therapy, and starting to walk again at my old pace, but I’m still not cleared for yoga- my balance is still a little wonky, and I don’t want to do anything that might re-injure it. Otherwise, I think I did okay! I set realistic goals, and I stuck to them- even though, this semester, I became a bit of an antisocial thesis hermit. I’m around this summer, and would love to try again in the making plans department, so if you find yourself in Bryn Mawr or Philly, get in touch!

Happy end of the semester, everyone!

The April 2015 elections round is happening RIGHT NOW! I have a lot of feelings about elections- when I was nominated last year to serve on the Honor Board, it was a total surprise. I gave it a lot of thought, and I decided that I’d accept the nomination and run for the position. If someone out there in Bryn Mawr land thought that I was capable, then I really wanted to see what it was all about, and prove them right. (And that is just as valid a reason as getting to Bryn Mawr and knowing immediately that the Honor Board is your one true calling, right? Right.) So I ran, and I was elected, and it has been a great year. I loved my time on the Honor Board, and I’m bummed that I couldn’t do it again. I’ve met students, formed relationships with deans and faculty members I might not have even met otherwise, and learned more about what it really takes to make this community tick.

I’m indebted to the 2014-15 Honor Board for showing me that a diverse group really can work well together, and for being so great at decompressing when needed. We’re also collectively pretty great at orientations (and coloring!). I think I’ve served the position well, and I’m excited for the next bunch to come in and have as rewarding an experience as I’ve had.

My friend Miranda is running for a 1 Year Class of 2016 Honor Board Representative position, and as her informal campaign manager, I’ve got to put this out there: Vote for Miranda Smith! She’s got a deep, deep love for this community, and she wants to help make it even better. There’s no two ways around it, she should be on the Honor Board. More information on the poster below:

On Thursday night, under a moon that was not actually full, the McBrides and supporters (loved ones, friends, fellow students, faculty, administrators) celebrated journeys that have been as winding and complicated as the labyrinth itself. I may be a senior, but this was my first time participating in this tradition. I was blown away by the show of support, from the reception before the actual event, to the party afterward.

At every turn in the labyrinth, there were readers with quotes and a script about our academic and non-academic lives, before, during, and after Bryn Mawr College. Some of it was not really applicable to me, now that I’ve reached the end of my BMC adventure, but other parts were overwhelming. Of course, the McBride readers were the most intense- I wept as soon as I saw Miranda and Dawn- and again when we got back to them the second time. (Whoops.)

Like every Bryn Mawr tradition, it’s difficult to describe the magic to a person who hasn’t witnessed it. There were lanterns, there was fire, people cried, and it was beautiful. For the rest, I’m including a few pictures of the reception- and when the pictures of the event come out, I’ll post those here too. I promise I won’t self-censor; you, dear reader, will see all of my Claire Danes ugly crying, and you will respect me anyway. After all, isn’t that what traditions really boil down to?

Hi everyone! I know that Tuesday is my usual update day, but this week is going to be really exciting at the end, so stay tuned to this space for a double update this weekend. On Thursday at 7:40 (sundown), the McBrides are celebrating the Labyrinth Tradition- under the light of lanterns and stars, we will honor our unique journeys through life to Bryn Mawr. On Friday, BMC is welcoming Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor as the recipient of the 2015 Hepburn Medal. I’ll be attending the student event and the medal ceremony, and posting about everything!

So consider this post a placeholder for the many awesome things to come, and I’ll see you all at the end of the week!

It’s official-spring has definitely made it to Bryn Mawr. There are tour groups on campus every day, people have finally broken out their sundresses, and people are smiling! It feels like we’ve made it through something terrible together, even though this winter was actually not that bad (especially compared to last year!).

For me, spring means studying on my porch instead of in my living room. The sounds of the train going by, all of the birds and bats that live on my block, and the perfect amount of sun all morning work together to make the best homework environment ever. The beginning of fall and the end of spring are my best times of the academic year, because I get to be outside. Running around, climbing trees, making picnics, and actually seeing other humans- this is the stuff that really gives me life.

What’s your favorite part of spring? What are you looking forward to? Other than, of course, May Day and graduation- everyone loves those. 😀

On Friday, I submitted a rough draft of my thesis. Everything immediately got very intense- my brain was swirling with thoughts of ringing the Taylor bell, and I had a bit of a freakout. The last six weeks have been hard, because I haven’t been able to really participate in the things I wanted to- there’s only so much crutching back and forth across the big hill a person can do before collapsing, not to mention attempting to navigate SEPTA! Now that I’m walking again, I’m feeling especially restless.

The time to complete my Bryn Mawr bucket list is winding down, so the next few weeks are going to have to be packed. I’ve been doing okay with crossing things off of it, but the clock is ticking and I feel I’ve forgotten a few things. I missed out on the Duck Pond Run AND the last senior cocktails, so I’m packing next week full of adventuring to make up for it. My friend/soulmate/cat co-parent is coming to visit from NY, and he’s staying for the whole week. Not great for homework, but really amazing for my state of mind!

This is us, last time he came to visit:

This time, I’m dragging him out to the mothership- I only have a month left, and he has to see it before I leave! He’s managed to escape the college visit every other time, but this time, I’m forcing it. What are your favorite things to do with your non-Mawrtyr friends when they come to campus? My hope is for hammock time, at the very least. Suggestions welcome! And if you had your senior year to do all over again, what would be on YOUR bucket list?

Last week, members of the Bryn Mawr community participated in the college’s first-ever Community Learning Day. Students, staff, faculty, and administration gathered for a full schedule of panels, workshops, lectures, and events. We didn’t have class, and everyone was given time to actually go to things they wanted to go to.

(The schedule and more information are here: https://www.brynmawr.edu/community-learning)

I missed the opening event, but made my way over to Canaday to hear Whitney Lopez ’15 (another McBride!) talk about the Backtalk exhibit recently put up near special collections. The talk was about the college’s African art collection, and “questions of ownership, representation and both creating and decolonizing knowledge.” It was a really amazing conversation, and it touched on not only curation, but artifacts, art, and meaning across cultures. I was so thankful for the expertise of the other attendees, but primarily super proud of Whitney for doing something so amazing.

(More info on the exhibit, including an ongoing discussion that you can participate in here: http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/oneworld/backtalk)

The second panel I went to was “Perspective and Experiences of African American Staff.” Five members of staff from numerous departments came together to talk about their lives both in and outside of Bryn Mawr. I was really into in what they all had to say, and especially taken by the differences in perspective across gender and generational lines.

I had an amazing day, and the conversations were continued well into the evening. I’m really grateful to Kim and the rest of the administration for making this happen- and I hope that it encourages people to actually have more of these talks. It can’t just be one day. Don’t let it stop at one day, mawrtyrs!

Welcome back, Mawrtyrs! I’d planned to go to New Orleans for the break, but my broken ankle really prevented any kind of exciting travel. The good news is that the cast came off last week (whoohoo!), but the bummer is that I’m still not allowed to put any weight on it.

I used my break to rest and recover- I did a lot of reading, I elevated my leg, and I saw my family. My last spring break as an undergrad was exactly what I needed- and I’m glad it happened the way it did.

This week is exceptionally busy! It’s the end of midterms, so I have a few papers due. We have the McBride General Meeting tonight! It’s the once-per-semester meeting of the McBride minds when we get dinner and talk about the progress that we’ve made so far and what we want to do in the future. I’m excited about this one because we’re talking about elections for next year! We’re also discussing the Labyrinth tradition, which is fairly new for Bryn Mawr (it’s only in its third year), and happening in mid-April. I’m participating for the first time this year, so I’ll tell you all about it when it happens!

Wednesday is the campus-wide Community Day of Learning- there are so many amazing things happening during the day, and I’ll only be able to go to two! I’m hoping that the lectures are filmed or recorded, because I’d love to be able to see more of them. I’m proud of Bryn Mawr for carving out the whole day for something so important, and for working with students and faculty to create programming that makes sense for our community. I really can’t wait- it’s been in the works for a while, and people have really dedicated a lot of time to making it great. Anassa kata, Mawrtyrs!

I’ll report back at the end of the week, but if you’re interested in learning more about it, or following along from home, check out: brynmawr.edu/community-learning and on Twitter, #mawr2learn.

Oh, and final thing- happy spring! It’s officially not winter anymore, and I’m reveling in the light jackets and short sleeves that this amazing weather is for. Enjoy it, everybody!

This will be a shorter post, because like the rest of Bryn Mawr, I’m hunkered down with my laptop working on my midterms. This week has been rough! I’m accustomed to working my life out around invisible illness- having chronic migraines means that I spend a lot of time in bed, in the dark, with ice. My temporal lobe is a little messed up, so I also have some problems with my perception of space/time/gravity. My funky brain stuff impacts everything I do, and it has for so long that I am pretty decent at dealing with it and how it impacts my interactions with others.

Fast forward to now- I’ve been in a cast since last week, and it has been rough (to say the least). I’m no stranger to fielding other people’s comments on my body and my choices, because I’m a woman (among many other things) who exists in the world, but this has been next level. I have chosen to leave my cast uncovered, because my normal body temperature is really high, but that means that my toes are exposed. I painted my toenails purple to match my cast, and figured that it wouldn’t be an issue. I was so wrong! So many people have had things to say, from expressing their concern at how cold I must be to telling me unsolicited stories about their injuries to touching my crutches. I can’t possibly know what’s best for my body- everyone else’s ideas are more valid, and my choices have to be second-guessed.

To see this power dynamic actually expressed, over and over, is enlightening. I can’t get away quickly, and people use that to their advantage. I’m focused on my body, and where I’m going and what my crutches are going to hit next, which means that I can’t really tell when people are staring, and once I notice, it’s too late to do anything about it. I’m intrigued by the way Mawrtyrs especially, who are so frequently aware of power structures and their places within them, have engaged with me around this.

If this is interesting for you, or you want to continue the discussion as it relates to Bryn Mawr specifically, I encourage you to check out EnAble Bryn Mawr. It’s a fairly recent group on campus, led by my friend Niki. I haven’t been able to make meetings because my off-campus life doesn’t usually allow me to be on campus as late as they tend to happen (this is true of most extracurricular groups, actually), but I encourage others to participate. It’s important.